Raising a child is not about shaping who they love, but how do they learn to love themselves.
The future of a person is shaped by many factors — socio-economic conditions, the surrounding environment, the place they grow up in, and the society they live in. But among all these, one factor stands tall as the foundation of everything else: the relationship, understanding, and mutual support between parents — the father and the mother.
From the very moment a child begins to form in the mother’s womb, their journey of becoming begins. And by future, I don’t just mean academic success or career path. I’m referring to deeper traits — a child’s behaviour, emotional strength, ability to handle adversity, moral compass, empathy, resilience, and even their orientation towards the opposite or same gender.
Yes, you read that right. This blog is about sexuality — whether a person is heterosexual or homosexual, whether they identify with the LGBTQA+ community, and how all of it connects with early parental bonding.
The Silent Shapers: Parents and Identity
Society often considers heterosexuality the “default” — the norm upon which family structures are built. Reproduction, continuity of generations, and social order all revolve around a man and a woman coming together to raise a family. Biologically, two people of the same gender cannot produce offspring. This is a fact.
But a family is not just about biology. A family is built on mutual trust, shared responsibilities, and emotional bonding. A strong family nurtures a child with love, instils values, and prepares them to face life with courage and grace. The true foundation of family lies in how the parents support and love each other, and how they transfer that security to their child.
When such an environment is created, children — regardless of their sexual orientation — grow up confident, self-aware, and accepting of who they are.
Where Does the LGBTQA+ Community Fit In?
As an author, I predominantly write fiction centered around gay and transgender individuals. Not because I seek to glorify any particular identity, but because I believe in telling the stories that are too often silenced. Every novel of mine carries a message — not just for society, but especially for parents.
Let me make one thing clear: homosexuality and being transgender are not diseases or disorders. I’m not a psychologist or a doctor, and I don’t claim scientific authority here. My purpose is simpler — I wish to urge parents to look beyond judgment, beyond fear, and beyond social stigma. Understand your child, listen to them, respect their feelings, and don’t rush to conclusions. Give space, give time, and most importantly, give love.
As a writer, I’ve dedicated much of my creative work to telling the stories of gay love and transgender individuals — voices that are often silenced or misunderstood. My fictions, written in both English and Bengali, do more than narrate romance; they carry a silent but powerful message for society. Through the lives of my characters, I seek to reflect the inner turmoil, the longing for acceptance, the strength to love unapologetically, and the deep-rooted societal biases they often battle against. Each story is a mirror held up to the world — inviting readers, especially parents and caregivers, to rethink their perceptions, challenge outdated norms, and view the LGBTQIA+ community with empathy and humanity. These aren’t just love stories — they are social commentaries wrapped in emotion, designed to nudge hearts toward compassion and minds toward change.
A Gentle Reminder for Parents
Often, parents believe that their age and experience automatically make their opinions correct, and anything the newer generation feels is immature or wrong. While it’s true that elders have seen more of life, sometimes wisdom also lies in unlearning. Look at life from your child’s perspective. Not everything needs to follow tradition to be meaningful.
Society evolves. Caste-based restrictions in marriage have faded. Interfaith marriages are increasingly accepted. Though terms like “Love Jihad” have politicized such unions, it’s important to differentiate between love based on transparency and deception with malicious intent. Marriage between two consenting adults of different religions is not a crime, unless it is built on lies or coercion.
Similarly, when two adults of the same gender love each other, society shouldn’t punish them with isolation. The biggest support they need is not from laws or institutions — it’s from their own families.
A Personal Reflection
Let me share a story close to my heart — my own. I was born into a large joint family with limited financial means. My mother, during her pregnancy, faced neglect, emotional trauma, and malnourishment. My father, though a principled man, was absent — both physically and emotionally. Influenced by Naxalite ideology, he often saw family responsibilities as secondary to his political dreams. The result? I grew up weak, introverted, anxious, and starved of attachment and affirmation.
On the other hand, my cousin — born just months apart — had a completely different experience. His mother received care and love despite financial challenges. His father ensured she and the baby were well-fed and protected. Today, my cousin is emotionally grounded, assertive, and confident — a stark contrast to what I became.
This isn’t about comparison. It’s about realisation. The early emotional climate of the womb, and the mental space between parents, lay the blueprint of a child’s emotional health and identity.
To Every Parent Reading This
Your child’s identity — including their sexual orientation, emotional maturity, and worldview — is seeded the moment they begin to form inside the womb. If you truly want to guide your child towards a fulfilling, confident life, invest not just in their education or diet — but in your relationship with each other.
Make your home a space free from fear, judgment, and neglect. Be present. Be honest. Be kind — not just to your child, but to your partner too. The ripple effect of that love reaches generations ahead.
Because ultimately, what a person becomes is a reflection of their upbringing, a mirror of their parents’ empathy, and a product of the love (or absence of it) that surrounded them in their most formative years.
Everything else is secondary.